I have had a small epiphany this week. It wasn't a good one I have to say and I really don't know what to make of it. I remembered an event which has previously only been a nightmare. I am now really confused over whether it is merely my mind playing tricks on me or whether it is a repressed memory that has somehow been triggered. What is worse is that I don't have any professional to talk to as the therapist I have been seeing has dropped me from her books and nobody has contacted me about more sessions despite assurances they would. I will have to go and sort it out tomorrow but this has happenned at such a bad time what with essay deadlines, dissertation drafts to be handed in and exams to start revising for I am starting to feel trapped and overwhelmed by it all.
On top of all of that I have now become a full insomniac with barely 3 hours a night sleep and am dangerously close to slipping back into old habits. Sometimes I really wonder why God lets us fall even when he is holding our hand. I also wonder whether he realises just what a pain it is for these things to always happen togetheror why he reveals things in such a confusing, and upsetting way...
Maybe one day I will know...
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